Mentoring In Church | Older Women & Younger Women

OK please don’t be put off by the word ‘mentoring’. I know it’s a word that doesn’t really go down well with some people. However i’m going to use this word as i lack a better word to use. For me i feel we lack the kind of order found in Titus 2 in our present day church. I’m going to start with women because hmmm (shakes head), seriously we need to get ourselves together.

Before i talk about the older women, let me start with the younger ones since this is the group i fall into.

Titus 2:4-5

These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

There is so much we can learn from those who have walked this earth longer than we have. One of the greatest blessings we can have in our lives, is the blessing of having an older christian woman mentor and lead us. Look i am all for the younger generation leading. I am a youth leader and i love seeing vibrant youths take up responsibilities in churches. However we need to be careful not to turn our church buildings into jamboree and ‘hallelujah gym’ centers as we blatantly ignore the voices of the older generation.

OK i digressed a little bit. I was talking about younger women learning from older ones. Older women are scared to teach some of us because our mouths are too sharp! The whole head shaking and neck twisting will only result in broken homes and chaotic life for us. We need to humble ourselves under these people who God has purposefully placed in our lives. If we do this, we will be able to learn from them and avoid making the same mistakes they made. But how are they going to share these things with us when we think life is all about knowing how to use smartphones?

When i had my last child, one of the older women in my church who we fondly call grandma was coming to help me out everyday. She is a nurse but still i don’t know how she was managing to go to work and still come to help me at home. My family lives in Africa so we don’t have the luxury of having family come around to help. This lady was a God sent to me. God knew my husband and i really needed that help.

I am naturally a very strong person. I live my life as though i have no one. I don’t like relying on people for help. I know this has it’s bad sides. Yeah God is helping me with that. But there was a day this lady was in our house helping out. She looked at me and could tell i was exhausted. Even if i was putting on a brave face because i wanted her to go rest instead, she insisted i should go and rest as she could tell i was going to collapse out of exhaustion. To cut the long story short i obeyed and thank God i did because it would have been a different story. She has been in my shoes and she shared her wisdom in this regard.

Spiritually, there is a lot we can learn from older ladies too. We can learn how to be submissive, respectful and juggle family life in a healthy way. Grandma may not know how to wear concealer and long hair extensions. Grandma may not know the latest trend and may have never even heard of snap chat. Grandma may still be trying to figure out how to use Nokia 3310 (do they even still sell this phone? lol). But grandma have so much wisdom that you can learn from sis. Learn from her experiences. The older lady doesn’t have to be a grandma though lol.

Now i must confess that there are some older women i don’t want to learn from because i don’t want their influence in my life. I know that’s a harsh way to say it but that is me saying my truth. Notice what it says in verse 3.

Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.[a] Instead, they should teach others what is good.

To teach others is a huge responsibility. The best way to teach is by words and by being an example. I think we lack more of the latter in churches. I don’t want to take marital advice from someone who i don’t admire their marriage. If i don’t like what i see in you, ermmm thanks for the advice but your actions counters your words ma’am. So what Paul is really saying here is that if people practice what they preach, it will be easier to follow them.

The past 2 years, God has brought some older girls very close to me. At first i didn’t realise God had a hand in this phase of my life, until they kept telling me how much they have learnt by spending time with me in my house. I was happy that the lady they knew in church was the same they saw at home. You just never know who is watching.

No one is perfect. Why make a mistake you could have avoided if you only were teachable?

Next time, I will talk about the men but just before then, I wrote a post a while back about Bridging the gap between the old and the new generations in the body of Christ. You really need to read it.

Ladies are we still friends? 🙂

***Disclaimer: Picture is from google images***

12 thoughts on “Mentoring In Church | Older Women & Younger Women

  1. Agreed!! Kindness and gentleness goes a long way as an example. I have heard older women be harsh with their words and uncaring. But I have heard others who are gentle in example as their words. Those women I watch and listen to. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Absolutely right! As an older woman, I have tried to mentor younger women, but they feel that I don’t know what I am talking about because I don’t “speak their language.” For some, that means that I don’t agree with their lifestyle that is nothing less than ungodly. But, I will keep trying because that is what God has called me to do and I will pray that God will send to me those who want a mentor and who are willing to learn. For now, I will continue to mentor my daughter and daughters in law to the best of my ability.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I apologise on their behalf. I pray the Holy Spirit will convict them and reveal to them that you had their best interest at heart. Keep doing good and being the best role model you can be. God bless you Sis for all you do.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I absolutely love this post. I have a book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss called Adorned, that encourages just that. You are so right about the sharpness of some of the young people’s tongue. I am thankful though that I am able to take a few young ladies under my ‘wings’. It grows me closer to the Lord

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Mentoring In Church | Older Men & Younger Men – Grace Over Pain

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