The word ‘friend’ is something we use very loosely these days. We call random strangers friends. I am guilty of this too. I think the way we use this word has impacted badly on how the younger ones define friendship too. You can meet people online and develop good friendship. However this doesn’t happen as often as we paint it to be. For example, I call you all friends here. But the truth is that you guys don’t know me really.
Online we only share the side of us we want others to see. This is the truth. If you see me outside today, you will walk pass me because you don’t know me. Yes we share our struggles on here but truly I can’t say that people here have helped me through rough times as much as certain people in my life have. And this is ok. I am good with this. I am just sharing to paint a good picture of what I am trying to say. Don’t loose focus of the true friends in your life just because you are caught up in building a kind of friendship that is not real.
So how do we know who our true friends are?
We know our real friends in our high moments. A true friend is the one who is genuinely excited about your wins. The one who does not throw salt on your high moments. The one who does not steal you moments and make it about him/her. The one who is happy about the big doors opening for you. Not many people are like this. A friend who is always dull and moody whenever others are celebrating you isn’t a good friend.
We know our real friends in our low moments. I think this point is something we all know. A friend who never shows up for you, a friend who is forever busy and is too selfish to come see you when you are hurting, in my opinion is not a friend. Of course distance is a determining factor with this one but if you live in a relatively close distance and that same friend is always the one who says ‘you know I love but I’m really sorry, I can’t be there blah blah’ every time? nope! A true friend is one who is willing to cancel certain things just so he/she can be there with you. Sometimes a phone call is just not enough.
In addition to this, the ultimate litmus test is to test their reaction when someone is tearing you down before them in your absence. There reaction in this case reveals who they truly are.
Remember this goes vice versa. Be the friend you want to have.