“I Am Tired of Going to Church”

Last week I was chatting with someone who was responding to one of my blog posts. In the end she said “a lot of people are tired of going to church”. I affirmed what she said based on what I have noticed too.

Last Sunday in my church, we had a barbecue event. During the event, one of the young people who I was chatting with said “Aunty, I am tired of going to church”. And no he is not a rebellious child who just want to hang out with bad guys. This guy is saved. But he was speaking his truth and I listened.

Ah! I have felt this way countless number of times. Pretence is a pet peeve of mine and I cannot blend where it is found. So this too is my truth.

Last week, I read a post from a fellow blogger and in the end, I left a prayer for the church in the comment section because really, that was all I could do.

The decline in church attendance cuts across every demographic, ethnicity and race. The old and young seem to be singing similar tune.

What I have discovered is that people are only tired of going to what we have made church to be. They still long for fellowship, closeness and a sense of family. When this isn’t found in an assembly, the feeling of “I am tired of going to church” creeps in.

A church is a family. We aren’t only family on Sundays or service days. We should be family always.

One of the things that really gets to me is when people wear masks in church. I have never understood the faith behind not telling the truth. Many times I have seen situations where people who are sincerely asked how they are doing; give a quick response of “everything is fine. I am ok”. From body language, you can see they don’t want to carry on with the conversation. You leave thinking “no you are not fine. I only just wanted to hug you and pray with you.” You are then left with the feeling of “maybe I shouldn’t ask next time”. I don’t know if you understand. But this situation can be very tricky.

Sometimes in church, I feel like I am walking on eggshell. People are misunderstood even before they are known. Have you even been there? I have had times when I am not scared to speak but sincerely just fed up of being misunderstood. Times like that, I keep my lips sealed.

Clearly all of this isn’t always the devil. It is also our attitude as well. Just maybe, if I am a little nicer, and you are a little nicer, that brother and sister will feel TRULY loved.

On the flip side, maybe I am not the only one who is tired of going to church. Maybe majority are but have gotten into the rhythm and don’t want to leave for fear of what others will say.

Maybe others are; but are just too scared to say something because these days, church fighters and defenders are ready to pounce on you even before you finish your sentence.

Maybe the remaining fraction truly like the church but do believe it can and should be better.

The truth is that whatever category we fall in, there is a place in our heart where we wish the church is different from what it currently is.

I know it’s a place for sick people…. yeah I know that line and there is a sense of truth in it. But if we don’t find the fruit of the spirit in church, where are we supposed to find it? Praying till our vocal cords are destroyed won’t do any good if we forget the principle of love. Routine bores the heck out of us all. Church ministers are scared of taking services out of the usual location just so members are not lost. Focus is so much on numbers and not intimacy. I can go on and on but I will leave it there.

And no! I am still saved. I still love my Jesus Christ like crazy. I believe in the church so no need to give me countless benefits of church in the comment section. I am not going to stop going to church because I have experienced the good things that comes with it too.

I love the church. But sometimes I’m tired of going to church too. I want fellowship. I want family. I want SINCERITY. I don’t really care about address, building, quality of church equipments.

I want;

A church that isn’t confined to a building

A church that reaches out to community

A church that is secure enough to embrace the good things that the other parts of her body is doing.

A church that truly understands the concept of faith and work. I honestly feel we currently have 2 extremes with this. The part who would rather sit in church morning till night praying for change without stepping out to do anything. And the other part which believes so much in motivational speeches and human wisdom without applying godly principles to it.

A church who will not spend all her time focusing and debating on irrelevant matters and losing sight of what truly matters.

A church that gladdens the heart of Our Father always.

I want a church. I pray for a church. Not what we currently have. But the kind of church Jesus Christ will be pleased with.

27 thoughts on ““I Am Tired of Going to Church”

  1. This is a critical issue that is facing the Church now and it is seems it’s happening almost everywhere. When the church started with the apostles, the major aim is to win souls to the kingdom and care for one another both spiritually and physically and emotionally and financially and mentally, and there’s no favouritism nor discrimination.

    But sincerely, the church looks not the same as it began. May God help us. Love is important to keep the church to its original foundation. It was true and genuine Love that makes the apostles do all they did.

    We need to find that love, the live of Christ. Powerful message my dear friend.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Efua,

    Amen to your post. I agree with you absolutely here.

    I am a believer who went to church for about 30 years before finally being honest with myself that going was proving to be more harmful than helpful to my walk of faith, that last year I actually quit going at all. (I have written about some aspects on my blog, should you be interested you can look at my post at https://grainofwheatblog.wordpress.com/2018/03/17/church-to-be-or-to-go-that-is-the-question/ – in fact I have written and reblogged a few related articles under my category “churches”).

    I have come to think that the way that God sees “the church” is far different to how we see it. He sees the hearts and souls of everyone and He knows those who belong to Him and who love and obey Him. This has nothing to do with buildings or organised religious services as you touched on in your post. Those who truly want to follow the Lord Jesus Christ in humility and obedience can grow quite frustrated with what is available to them in the organised churches. We have a deep hunger for real connection with real fellow believers that can go unmet in the organised setting. We perhaps don’t know how to go about finding those connections. In the end I am just praying and trusting the Lord to lead and provide as He sees fit.

    God bless you,

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thanks for stopping by. Just read your post and all I can say is wow! That is good stuff you’ve got. You explained my thoughts exactly and more. I still attend church services. However I am not naive and will never be in the denial of what I see daily in the church. It’s about time we started having genuine conversations about this and find a way to come back to what God called us to do. Blessings to you!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. The church is really not a building, it’s the people who love the Lord who are His church. That being said, it’s written that we are not supposed to “forsake assembling together.” We really do need each other, in a genuine kind of support group. Think about the early church and how persecuted the members were. They had to meet together to encourage each other to keep on with the faith. That is what we are supposed to be doing—encouraging each other to continue in the faith. We do that by love and genuine concern. One of the problems of most churches is the failure to be genuine. No one wants to admit that they are having any problems, lest they admit that they are not perfect. Well, I am here to admit that I am not perfect and will not be until Jesus returns. I am a work in progress and I need the church to hone me, to help me to grow, to teach me and to also have others to reach out to who may need my experience. No, church isn’t perfect because it’s made up of imperfect people who are climbing mountains and stuck in valleys. But God wants us together so He can reach us and teach us. I think one of the biggest problems with church attendance is that it actually takes time out of people’s busy life and day. They want to rest that day or get on with whatever makes them happy, not spend time worshipping God and listening to His Word. I want each week that I go to church to include a new revelation for me, and when I go with an attitude of expectation, I generally receive. We are a river of life and our fountain is the Lord! To continue to flow, we need to receive from HIm the living water. Yes, we can receive life from Him at home in our living rooms or wherever we are; but God’s plan is for us to assemble together. And I don’t think that my being tired is a good enough excuse to stay home and still expect God’s blessings.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Well written Sis. I love the church but I don’t like how it is to be honest. The challenge I have is that the obvious reasons why people are withdrawing is often (based on my observations) overlooked. If people are leaving, do we even bother to find out why they are leaving without painting them as though they are the weak ones who could no longer hold the fort? That is what I see. Is either that, or the devil got the best of them. But really nay! They left and are leaving for real reasons. The reasons are always the same although they play out differently.
      Again I understand we all are humans. But if we don’t find the fruit of the spirit in the church, where do we find it then? If our attitude is pulling people away from supposed family, what are we like outside church?
      We sure need each other and if I am honest, I have experienced countless number of times when a visit to a church family member in their house has uplifted my spirit more than going to a normal church service. This isn’t because I wasn’t ready to receive from God. It was mainly because I am fed up of seeing masks worn around.
      I agree with what you said and what Rotimi said. We need to refocus on what we should be doing. Our attention has shifted indeed. A fellow blogger wrote a post about how the church spend hours arguing about bible translations and other denominations etc but forget about important issues. I see this too often and it truly saddens my heart. Sometimes I ignore and stay quiet but maybe that has contributed to the decay. Maybe if I speak out and others speak out, we can truly face the mess and find embrace ways to do better.

      Liked by 3 people

    1. … Hopefully we won’t have to struggle through this for long. Hopefully we wake up sooner than later. Hopefully we begin to speak instead of hide. Hopefully🙏🏾
      Thanks Sis

      Liked by 1 person

  4. ❤ ❤ ❤ SIS YES! So…I was talking to someone who had opened up about why they have not attended church and they were struggling if God was upset with them. They also have been stumbled, sadly, by many church experiences planting seeds of bitterness through others judging them, and lack of connection. So this Thursday I HAD A POST ABOUT CHURCH TOO! I have just decided to move it because this week is very busy and I wanted to make sure I had proper time to write what I wanted. But I am SO THANKFUL you have posted about this. I was also just talking to God about this and lo and behold you talk about this. I feel like God wants me to write that post, and that I am where He wants me to be. I do not currently attend a church where I live, though when I visit home I visit my home church. However, God has provided the church body in so many ways to me that I feel so encouraged and fulfilled in fellowship largely because of this amazing blogging community. We are one in the spirit. And that oneness is very real and physical to me even if I do not see fellow believers on a physical day to day basis. I am so thankful for His hand in providing. I am so thankful to be part of the field and the harvest.

    I also see some of the same comments you've received that I've received nearly on every post I've written about church, mainly through misunderstandings. And I'm glad to say over discussion most people started to see where I was coming from, even if they disagreed which is okay 🙂 But I'm glad that you have opened up about this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. To be honest growing up, church was everything. Church was family. What I see now in church isn’t what I saw growing up. I have had so many conversations with people about this and the sad truth is that majority know this is true but they just prefer not to talk about it. I still go to church but I am just speaking my truth. I love church services and I still attend.
      I know it takes two to tangle. I know we all need to change our attitude but hey how do we even get to start talking about changing if we refuse to accept that there is a problem?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Very good point. I think the distraction is people say, “Oh others are falling away because they are not attending church.” When the truth is people are falling away IN CHURCH, and being stumbling blocks to others. Church is certainly about the asembling of ourselves but that is a focus on encouragement and strength in the body of Christ, which must be reflective of a strong walk with Christ. Many people are not walking strong with Christ, and that then turns into how the church body reflects Christ, not much. We need more care, more encouragement, more uplifting. We need a revival and a refinement that stays, not leaves after the “hype” is gone.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Can we do a praise dance? Yassss to everything that you said. I’m so grateful for where God has positioned me. I love my church family. Every time, I go to church, I get to learn and grow in fellowship and in my walk with God. Yes I must admit, though I love my church family, every church has its own problems. We are constantly learning through the help of the Holy Spirit. God bless you. This post was a blessing to read 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. First and foremost we need a mighty Spiritual revival! There are too many divisions in the churches nowadays. All the things that are not of God are being welcomed with open arms into the church! Just for the “popular” members to stay! Many are not taking their salvation or God seriously at all and they are the one’s the pastor’s always has to the forefront and they know that they are not where they are supposed to be with God! We really need to speak! We who are in the church and are being witnesses of such. I’m sure if Paul and they were still alive they would have speak up about it just as they did back then when he preached to the Corinthian church, etc! Its a very sad thing and if we don’t make a change now and get right with God, it will be too late and his judgement will be upon us! Thank you so much for speaking out about this! Blessings!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Byron

    Very relevant and real words for the plight i find myself in. After months of lockdown i have enjoyed the remote fellowship and with the reopening I don’t fancy going back, bit am constantly asked questions and bombarded with why i havent been and when i will. God bless you sister was an encouraging read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for stopping by Byron. I think the pandemic reminded us all that we are the church. I do miss being in the midst of my church family physically. Although I don’t know when next we’ll be able to meet physically again.


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