Looking back at certain seasons of my life, one thing I have realised is that we are held captive to things we pay great attention to. Inasmuch as I don’t believe it’s God’s will for us to go through certain life situations, I strongly believe that He does use them for our own good. But how can He use them when we are clinging onto them?
Some of us have totally lost sight of the glory ahead of us because we can’t let go of the pain from yesterday. In one of my previous blog post, I shared how I held on to the memory of the pain of the abuse I went through and how I allowed that incidence to control my life for 12 years. I allowed the devil to feast on my emotions and mess my mind up with anger and revenge i didn’t even know how I was going to go about. Whenever the name of this guy and his family were mentioned, I literally fumed and in many occasions I would break down and cry because I could still feel the fresh pain it caused me. I cried because I felt like no one was fighting for me and these people were getting away with what they did.
But you know what, whatever we let control us is our master. So really this guy was my master for 12 good years!!! Can you imagine that? The side effect of this amongst many was the fact that we had 3 miscarriages in a roll during this period. I strongly believe that this was a spiritual implication of the bitterness and heaviness I carried around. It was like God saying “I am not going to bring a generation into this mess.” Children are seeds and I believe God is very intentional about children.
When I removed my arms from that pillow of pain, and allowed God to fight for me, He came in and took control of the wheel. He healed me, I became pregnant again shortly after, had my baby (3 kids now), and He gave me peace. I can sincerely say, I have no iota of bitterness for that guy and His family. God is a God of justice and He showed me how He is fighting for me regarding this issue. We can’t sow evil and expect to reap good. These folks never imagined that we will become what we are today and it still blows my mind how the table has turned. We can never fight a battle the way God does/will. I know you might be thinking that the people who caused you pain are getting away with it. But no they aren’t. If you take a close look at their lives, you will see how God is vindicating you. The principle of “you reap what you sow” is real. God cannot be mocked.
So I urge you to let go of that pillow of bitterness you are cuddling so God can heal you. A lot of things I don’t want to share about that family and how much pain they caused us. But if God helped me to forgive and genuinely not hold it against them, He sure can help you too.
We should look at our past and learn. We shouldn’t look at it and become bitter. Life is very short. No one should be given the power to control us that way.
Learn from your past
Live in you present
Hope for the future