I Want To Be Patient With Me.

On By EfuaIn life

I am my worst critic. I beat myself up a lot. I forgive easily and tend to be good at offering grace to others but not myself. I always tell myself I could have done better. I am not good at receiving compliments even if I am naturally a cheerleader for others.

There is a good side to this in that i don’t want accolades to get into my head and make me proud. I also don’t want to be complacent or to always give excuses for my flaws. On the flip side, this also could have negative effects which i notice in how i treat myself. I have realised that I could be my worst enemy.

I don’t give myself the grace i offer to others. I am not patient with me. When i get something wrong, something i ought to have known, i beat up myself a lot. If someone fails at something for example, i am good at pulling that person up. It is one of my gifts. I have seen many people come back to share how i have helped them through seasons when they thought they have failed. I am not saying this to blow my trumpet but just to make you understand what i mean. However i hardly gather myself up to try again after a failure. A huge part of it is because i feel i have fell below my expectation.

Actually the root cause of this is pride because i feel highly of myself. If i truly understand and accept that i am not all knowing, then i will be gracious and allow allowances to receive grace.

I need to be patient with me.

I promise myself to be more gentle and loving with the way i treat me. I want to be intentional about looking after me. I don’t want to beat myself up over things I tolerate in others. I am human after all. I want to learn to receive compliments and not always push them away. I do work hard. And I deserve to treat myself better. I don’t want to always take myself off the equation.

I now understand that the big compassionate heart God blessed me with isn’t for others alone. It’s for me too. So,  i pledge to do better.

24 thoughts on “I Want To Be Patient With Me.”

    1. I agree. Self condemnation is a tactic from the enemy to prevent us from fully evolving into God’s best. Buying into this tactic means we are giving the devil a foothold in our lives. Now that his tactic has been exposed, I believe we can do better by holding on to the finished work Jesus did on the cross for us. He has set us free and we are free indeed.

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    1. Thank you so much Sis for your kind words. The spirit of self condemnation is of the devil. Jesus gives us freedom to of course live for Him. We can’t do this by swimming in the pool of self condemnation

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    1. I think it’s more a thing of me wanting to be perfect in everything. I never saw it from an angle of pride though. Not being able to achieve these things at first attempt then makes me feel like giving up. I know God loves me. He never gives up on us, so also He doesn’t want me to give up on myself. I will be praying for Him to help me certainly in this area. Thanks sis❤️

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      1. I understand where you’re coming from. I still have vestiges of the perfectionism I learned as a child. But through my years of journeying with my perfect God, I’ve found that my expectations of myself did not match His expectations of me. If I change my expectations to meet His, I can follow His Spirit’s moving and try the things I’m not good at. Then He gets the glory because I know I could not have done it without His help.

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  7. With a tendency toward perfectionism, stemming from a feeling of never being good enough, I completely understand the tendency to beat oneself up over failures, but you’re right, it’s just another tactic of the devil to keep us from agreeing with the Lord’s view of us, to stop us from living the abundant life God offers, and to prevent us from becoming all the Lord has purposed for us to be. The Lord is so free with His grace and so patient with us and we need to be, too. We’re all works in progress and none of us is perfect. Blessings to you, Sis!

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    1. Yes Mia. It’s a thing of “I’ve got to get it right the first time”. I have always thought it was just a matter of me being more of perfectionist than anything else. But now I understand that it has spiritual implications and also it’s coming from a place of pride. Understanding the root cause I think will make me know how to fight against it.

      I agree with everything you said Sis. We all are certainly a work in progress. Blessings to you too❤️

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    1. Absolutely Sis❤️.

      By the way, I was honestly thinking about you today and how one of your post has really helped me become better. I was going to message you but I am literally on my way back from work now. I am in the bus so I am safe while typing haha!

      I can’t even remember what the post was about but it was something to do with how passion can be destructive. As you can probably tell from my posts I am very passionate about things I believe in. And that post has really helped me especially with communication and engaging in conversations relating to things I am passionate about.

      So thank you Sis and God bless you❤️🙂

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      1. Oh wow!!! You have been on my heart the last couple of weeks actually, and I’ve been lifting you up for God to use and guide you how He sees fit. I’m so glad that post spoke to you.

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