It’s all good when the flaws in others are revealed. It isn’t as cool when yours is staring at you. Jealousy isn’t something we like associating ourselves with. This was something the Holy Spirit revealed to me recently that I had to deal with.
It started off as a little seed. So there were people who will do amazing things and I would be like “it’s good… if they aren’t doing something bad in the background.” I will quickly backup my response with, you cannot really trust people these days.
The above statement isn’t wrong on its own. But the more this was happening, the more I wasn’t as excited about things they did. The issue of trust surpassed the good works they were doing. I was getting a prompt about this from the Holy Spirit and I ignored it. Quickly it went from me not being excited about what they did, to me having an attitude when their names were mentioned. It got to a point that I was feeling a heaviness in my chest when I heard their names. At this point I knew something was wrong but I didn’t want to accept the fact that I was jealous.
One day I was praying to God for more of His spirit and I was going on about how I want to surrender my life to Him blah blah. He said I needed to accept that I was battling with the spirit of jealousy. Instead of accepting, I was trying to prove to God why I was just being real because of the things happening in the world. I was like “God you know you said we shouldn’t trust people and these overnight ministries can be dangerous.”
He then showed me my heart in the reflection of a mirror. Eeeewwww. It was dirty and filthy. It was like the sight of a sewage. It was dark and thick. The thickness of it was what I was feeling as heaviness in my heart physically. At this point I was ashamed and embarrassed. I accepted my flaws and I begged God for mercy. And then that heaviness left.
The root cause of this was when I started finding fault in what these people were doing. We all are humans. We need to know that we are not perfect. No one is. Now and again you will see my flaws and I will see yours. These flaws doesn’t automatically make us bad people. We all are a work in progress.
I learnt from this experience that remembering how flawed I am makes me show grace to others.
It’s very easy to get trapped in jealousy. And it can be difficult to get out of it. The longer you stay in it, the more difficult it becomes for that spirit to leave you.
The practical steps i now take to avoid jealousy are:
1) I don’t over-process things. I have realised that each time I look for flaws, I find them.
2) I don’t ignore convictions. No matter how small they are.
3) Once I feel that spirit coming, I rebuke that spirit, pray for that person and celebrate that person openly
4) I now give room for imperfections in people
I am glad the Holy Spirit revealed this to me. He chastises those He loves.
Can you relate to this post?
How do you deal with jealousy?