Should a Christian Establish a Close Relationship with a Non Christian?

Few months back one of my besties Melina requested I do a post on the association between believers and non believers. This has been an area where a lot of questions is usually asked in the body of Christ. I have asked this question many times myself especially with the collaborations going on as mostly shown in the music world. Can we associate with unbelievers? Can we go into business partnership with them? Can they become our best friends? Can we go into collaborations with them? Where do we draw the line? In order to talk about this, I will be referring to a few bible scriptures as I trust the Holy Spirit to lead me.

The first scripture that came to my mind was 2 Corinthians 6:14-16.

“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people.”

In the above scriptures, Paul clearly is saying no and his reason is because we are the temple of God. Also there is a tendency that this kind of relationship might weaken our integrity, commitment and standards. It can also ruin our witness. In verse 17, he tells us to come out from amongst unbelievers and be separate unto God.

However if we go few pages back, in 1 Corinthians 5:9-10, it says, “When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that.”

Paul tells us that it’s almost impossible to only be around Christians so long we are in this world. This means, at some point in our lives, we will have to deal with working with unbelieving employers, business partners and associates etc. And besides we really can’t impact the world if we always isolate ourselves.

In 1 Corinthians 10:27, Paul is advising us on how to behave when an unbeliever invites us for dinner. “If someone who isn’t a believer asks you home for dinner, accept the invitation if you want to. Eat whatever is offered to you without raising questions of conscience.”

With the first scripture in mind, you would have thought his answer to this invite would be a no. However he tells us to go and he goes further to say we shouldn’t even question how the food came about. Is the bible confusing? No.

What I understand personally is that there is a fine line here that we need to be careful not to cross. As per the questions I raised in my introductory paragraph, I can’t say yes or no. I believe it varies from case to case. When it comes to business relationships and partnerships with unbelievers, a lot of things comes to mind. Before signing the dotted lines, a lot has to be considered. I would ask myself the following questions.

  • Will I have to compromise my faith in any way?
  • Do I have to adjust a lot to their ways
  • Do we share common values even if he is a non Christian?
  • How closely are we going to be working together?
  • What kind of clients will we be attracting?
  • Will I loose myself in the process?
  • Will my testimony be dented?
  • Will God take the glory?
  • Will God be happy with this move?

With the above, it will become clearer if I should go ahead or not.

Many times, people get into a relationship to change the person, and they end up loosing themselves in the process. A little compromise here and there, before you know it, the fire and zeal you had before is gone. Lukewarmness kicks in. “God understands” becomes your comfort line. At this point, the story is very sad because you have become a different person. We should avoid putting ourselves intentionally in situations where we have to compromise our faith.

In another scenario, it would be stupid for me to ask in a job interview if my CEO and every member of staff are Christians as that might not be easy to come by. The relationship shared between employees generally isn’t as close as the type that will be shared between two business partners.

To sum this whole rambling up, where possible, it is safer not to establish closely knitted relationships with people outside your fold. We should have a kind of relationship with them because this is the best way to win them. But in my opinion, they shouldn’t be our “best friends”. There might be few exemptions to this but generally speaking it is safer not to. If all your closest friends and associates are non believers, who is sharpening you? Before you know it, you go blunt. Iron the bible says sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). I know Jesus Christ is our best friend and He is all we need. But the reality is that most times we say words like these, they come from either a place of pride or from a place of hurt because of how people have failed us in the past.

We all need people. We were created and knitted this way. Jesus Christ didn’t go about His life alone. He had people around Him. If everyone around us is taking from us, within a matter of time, we will get drained. Who is filling you in your circle? Is there anyone around you who can pray, encourage and uplift you? If not, I’m afraid that isn’t a good one. Jesus Christ wasn’t always around unbelievers. He had a relationship with them, but they weren’t in His inner circle. He didn’t go into ministry with them. He mostly hung around believers and the times He was with unbelievers, the goal was salvation and that was achieved.

You become a reflection of what you give your quality time to.

All in all, it’s very important to remember that evil communication corrupts good manners. Never think that you are strong and safe enough. He that thinketh he stands, take heed lest he falls (1 Corinthians 10:12).

Shoutout to Melina my bestie who is one of those who sharpens me. Thanks for requesting this post Sis. I tried to do justice to it as much as I could and I hope you like it😊

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Blessings to you all❤️

25 thoughts on “Should a Christian Establish a Close Relationship with a Non Christian?

  1. There is no way we won’t have any close or not close relationship with a non Christian. The non Christian can even be your parents, brothers, sisters or workmate. It’s sometimes inevitable.
    The most important thing is to know the level of your association with the person in question so as to not influence you negatively. Without having their presence we cannot win them over to Christ. So boundaries need to be set. We need pray for them. Wisdom is also profitable in this situation, if the person’s continuous lifestyle is detrimental to you it is better to avoid them without misunderstanding.

    You’re blessed by sharing this, my good lady.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true. I totally agree. In this post I was referring to relationships we choose ourselves. Thank you for your comment my good brother which is always filled with wisdom🙂. Always highly appreciated.

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  2. Amen! Efua. I liked your post and liked when you stated, “We should avoid putting ourselves intentionally in situations where we have to compromise our faith.” When we begin to become complacent and compromising our faith, it’s not only hurting you spiritually but could potentially hinder your ministry.

    I like when you stated, “If all your closest friends and associates are non believers, who is sharpening you?” Iron sharpens iron and we are to build one another up; if we have no one with us to build us up we will fall.

    “You become a reflection of what you give your quality time to.” I couldn’t have said it better myself Efua.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you bro! “When we begin to become complacent and compromising our faith, it’s not only hurting you spiritually but could potentially hinder your ministry.” Amen to this!!!! God builds our ministry. When we try to go about it our way, we may become famous and successful in the eyes of the world but not in the eyes of God.

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  3. This is a very sensitive subject, you are very brave to write on it Efua. We cannot be totally isolated from the world, remember we have been sent out as sheep in the midst of wolves. This is how we must live, wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Matthew 5:13

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
    25 Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.
    26 Be not thou one of them that strike hands, or of them that are sureties for debts.
    27 If thou hast nothing to pay, why should he take away thy bed from under thee?
    Porverbs 22:24-27

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Melina

    Philippians 2:5
    NIV
    In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
    I remember many times calling on my bestie Efua for advice and her giving me spiritual advice which only a child of God can give. Someone with a christ like mindset.
    Sometimes I get nervous about hearing her RIGHT response, simply because I’m thinking I do not want to her the right thing.
    But I Thank God for giving us the same mind set .It makes advice right advice easier to penetrate and register. IRON SHARPENTH IRON.
    GREAT piece of writing. Thanks Efua.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Heyyyy bestieeeee!!!😬 I thank God for bringing you into my life. Your love and passion for God and your desire for holiness is amazing! You inspire me so much and make me want to be a better Christian. Thanks for being an iron that sharpens me❤️

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  7. I respect you for writing this, because it’s difficult to get the message across! This is by no means having a dig or an argument, but:

    In my honest opinion, I have to disagree with you. Some of my best mates aren’t Christian and they actually hold up better values than a lot of the Christians I’ve come across.

    I think you should have a balance between Christian and non Christian friends. I’ve seen so many people get established in the Christian ‘bubble’, but they can’t a handle a drink out with friends because it’s not held in a church or in someone’s house. This is the real world and not everyone goes to church.

    If we are to make witnesses to our Lord Jesus Christ – you have to be willing to associate yourselves with non Christians. How else may they see the light? Are they magically going to find it by themselves?

    No hate intended – just an honest opinion.

    Love and blessings, Stevie. x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for your comment Stevie. I agree we have to have a relationship with unbelievers as we can’t win them over otherwise. I actually mentioned this in my post. Besides Paul went as far as encouraging us not to say no when they invite us for dinners. The point I’m trying to make across is that we shouldn’t get into relationships that will make us compromise our faith. Regarding having unbelievers in our innermost circle, I wouldn’t advice that to anyone as that kind of relationship can be detrimental to our Christian growth. I guess you might agree with me on this. I feel Jesus Christ showed us a perfect example of how we can keep this balance. He hung out with unbelievers but He knew when to draw the line.

      Yes I agree some people do get caught up in the Christian bubble and that isn’t good either.

      God’s blessings to you always🙂

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  8. There is one more thing to consider. Before you make a decision to engage or disengage a relationship with someone, you need to pray. God may lead you to a “Rahab” or a “Nineveh”. Both would seem logically to avoid, but sometimes God does the supernatural. That is why one must pray before any decision. Are we not in the ministry of reconciliation? Great post! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Man, did this hit home for me. I work in an environment with a lot of non-believers, so it makes it difficult. But I try to allow Christ to shine through me and be an example (although I know I often fall short).

    I’ve been reading a lot about the woman at the well, the Samaritan. We are suppose to be Christ like, right? So had Jesus not approached her, a Samaritan of non-Christian belief, He would not have shown her the truth and she wouldn’t have gone and told others. We are called to minister to others, but like you stated, if we associate with non-believers on a more personal level, how are they to sharpen us! aah, excellent! Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your comment. Very much appreciated. I am glad you were able to relate to this post. I love how you said you try to allow Christ to shine through you and be an example. That is really good to know and I am sure that the seeds you are sowing into the lives of your colleagues by your lifestyle will germinate someday.

      Of course Jesus did associate with unbelievers e.g the Samaritan woman like you rightly mentioned. However they weren’t in His innermost circle. And I think this shows a perfect example of what our relationships should be like.

      Thanks again for visiting my page. Blessings to you!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Your post is not the kind of post I was searching for so how ironic that it turns out to be the most captivating out of the aprox. 50 I read today. I am not a Christian but I have been born again and received Jesus Christ as my savior. I say this because I have went to many churches trying to find a religion I resonate with the most. Catholic, Jewish, Buddhist, Morman…even Jehovah Witness. All professing that they are the ones who will go to Heaven. All claiming superiority over the other religions. The longest war with the most deaths is still happening in the Holy Land over God. My children are Atheist so boy do my Christian friends have a field day with that and over my Godson who is gay.

    I don’t like the separating of people and pushing away of gays, of other religions. This superiority that only they will go to Heaven. Think about it, who did Jesus keep company with prostitutes, drunks, the destitutes.

    Matthew 9:12-13 Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick…For I have not come to call the righteous..what sparked this conversation was Jesus had attended a dinner thrown by a crook and his unsavory friends and even asked the crook to be one of his disciples. He was getting at the point that theres one thing worse than being sick, being sick and thinking you are well. At least the crook knew he was spiritually terminal. Jesus taught that so-called good people don’t go to heaven because their pride keeps them from admitting their need for a Savior, he didn’t call “the righteous”.
    The longest wars that have killed the most people have been over beliefs in God. Do you believe that is what God believes, kill over your different beliefs. This mentality will continue to divide his children. He tells us not to judge, that is for him to do. That is no different than being told my five year old cannot play with my neighbors 5 year old because she is white and we are African-Mexican…which really happened. There are many things the Bible says and people use it to condemn. We need to focus on the good word, love each other. Leave whatever looks mean in the Bible alone, just use your good senses to focus how to love one another because segregation over peoples righteousness to me, would seem to keep you out of Heaven than two men that love each other and love Jesus Christ…

    Thank you for your blog, you are a beautiful spirit and please use your own heart which God is always in, to make your decisions…. Bless you

    Like

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