Should a Christian Establish a Close Relationship with a Non Christian?

Few months back one of my besties Melina requested I do a post on the association between believers and non believers. This has been an area where a lot of questions is usually asked in the body of Christ. I have asked this question many times myself especially with the collaborations going on as mostly shown in the music world. Can we associate with unbelievers? Can we go into business partnership with them? Can they become our best friends? Can we go into collaborations with them? Where do we draw the line? In order to talk about this, I will be referring to a few bible scriptures as I trust the Holy Spirit to lead me.

The first scripture that came to my mind was 2 Corinthians 6:14-16.

“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people.”

In the above scriptures, Paul clearly is saying no and his reason is because we are the temple of God. Also there is a tendency that this kind of relationship might weaken our integrity, commitment and standards. It can also ruin our witness. In verse 17, he tells us to come out from amongst unbelievers and be separate unto God.

However if we go few pages back, in 1 Corinthians 5:9-10, it says, “When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that.”

Paul tells us that it’s almost impossible to only be around Christians so long we are in this world. This means, at some point in our lives, we will have to deal with working with unbelieving employers, business partners and associates etc. And besides we really can’t impact the world if we always isolate ourselves.

In 1 Corinthians 10:27, Paul is advising us on how to behave when an unbeliever invites us for dinner. “If someone who isn’t a believer asks you home for dinner, accept the invitation if you want to. Eat whatever is offered to you without raising questions of conscience.”

With the first scripture in mind, you would have thought his answer to this invite would be a no. However he tells us to go and he goes further to say we shouldn’t even question how the food came about. Is the bible confusing? No.

What I understand personally is that there is a fine line here that we need to be careful not to cross. As per the questions I raised in my introductory paragraph, I can’t say yes or no. I believe it varies from case to case. When it comes to business relationships and partnerships with unbelievers, a lot of things comes to mind. Before signing the dotted lines, a lot has to be considered. I would ask myself the following questions.

  • Will I have to compromise my faith in any way?
  • Do I have to adjust a lot to their ways
  • Do we share common values even if he is a non Christian?
  • How closely are we going to be working together?
  • What kind of clients will we be attracting?
  • Will I loose myself in the process?
  • Will my testimony be dented?
  • Will God take the glory?
  • Will God be happy with this move?

With the above, it will become clearer if I should go ahead or not.

Many times, people get into a relationship to change the person, and they end up loosing themselves in the process. A little compromise here and there, before you know it, the fire and zeal you had before is gone. Lukewarmness kicks in. “God understands” becomes your comfort line. At this point, the story is very sad because you have become a different person. We should avoid putting ourselves intentionally in situations where we have to compromise our faith.

In another scenario, it would be stupid for me to ask in a job interview if my CEO and every member of staff are Christians as that might not be easy to come by. The relationship shared between employees generally isn’t as close as the type that will be shared between two business partners.

To sum this whole rambling up, where possible, it is safer not to establish closely knitted relationships with people outside your fold. We should have a kind of relationship with them because this is the best way to win them. But in my opinion, they shouldn’t be our “best friends”. There might be few exemptions to this but generally speaking it is safer not to. If all your closest friends and associates are non believers, who is sharpening you? Before you know it, you go blunt. Iron the bible says sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). I know Jesus Christ is our best friend and He is all we need. But the reality is that most times we say words like these, they come from either a place of pride or from a place of hurt because of how people have failed us in the past.

We all need people. We were created and knitted this way. Jesus Christ didn’t go about His life alone. He had people around Him. If everyone around us is taking from us, within a matter of time, we will get drained. Who is filling you in your circle? Is there anyone around you who can pray, encourage and uplift you? If not, I’m afraid that isn’t a good one. Jesus Christ wasn’t always around unbelievers. He had a relationship with them, but they weren’t in His inner circle. He didn’t go into ministry with them. He mostly hung around believers and the times He was with unbelievers, the goal was salvation and that was achieved.

You become a reflection of what you give your quality time to.

All in all, it’s very important to remember that evil communication corrupts good manners. Never think that you are strong and safe enough. He that thinketh he stands, take heed lest he falls (1 Corinthians 10:12).

Shoutout to Melina my bestie who is one of those who sharpens me. Thanks for requesting this post Sis. I tried to do justice to it as much as I could and I hope you like it😊

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Blessings to you all❤️

51 thoughts on “Should a Christian Establish a Close Relationship with a Non Christian?

  1. There is no way we won’t have any close or not close relationship with a non Christian. The non Christian can even be your parents, brothers, sisters or workmate. It’s sometimes inevitable.
    The most important thing is to know the level of your association with the person in question so as to not influence you negatively. Without having their presence we cannot win them over to Christ. So boundaries need to be set. We need pray for them. Wisdom is also profitable in this situation, if the person’s continuous lifestyle is detrimental to you it is better to avoid them without misunderstanding.

    You’re blessed by sharing this, my good lady.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Very true. I totally agree. In this post I was referring to relationships we choose ourselves. Thank you for your comment my good brother which is always filled with wisdom🙂. Always highly appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Amen! Efua. I liked your post and liked when you stated, “We should avoid putting ourselves intentionally in situations where we have to compromise our faith.” When we begin to become complacent and compromising our faith, it’s not only hurting you spiritually but could potentially hinder your ministry.

    I like when you stated, “If all your closest friends and associates are non believers, who is sharpening you?” Iron sharpens iron and we are to build one another up; if we have no one with us to build us up we will fall.

    “You become a reflection of what you give your quality time to.” I couldn’t have said it better myself Efua.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you bro! “When we begin to become complacent and compromising our faith, it’s not only hurting you spiritually but could potentially hinder your ministry.” Amen to this!!!! God builds our ministry. When we try to go about it our way, we may become famous and successful in the eyes of the world but not in the eyes of God.

      Like

  3. This is a very sensitive subject, you are very brave to write on it Efua. We cannot be totally isolated from the world, remember we have been sent out as sheep in the midst of wolves. This is how we must live, wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Matthew 5:13

    Liked by 2 people

  5. 24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
    25 Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.
    26 Be not thou one of them that strike hands, or of them that are sureties for debts.
    27 If thou hast nothing to pay, why should he take away thy bed from under thee?
    Porverbs 22:24-27

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Melina

    Philippians 2:5
    NIV
    In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
    I remember many times calling on my bestie Efua for advice and her giving me spiritual advice which only a child of God can give. Someone with a christ like mindset.
    Sometimes I get nervous about hearing her RIGHT response, simply because I’m thinking I do not want to her the right thing.
    But I Thank God for giving us the same mind set .It makes advice right advice easier to penetrate and register. IRON SHARPENTH IRON.
    GREAT piece of writing. Thanks Efua.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Heyyyy bestieeeee!!!😬 I thank God for bringing you into my life. Your love and passion for God and your desire for holiness is amazing! You inspire me so much and make me want to be a better Christian. Thanks for being an iron that sharpens me❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I respect you for writing this, because it’s difficult to get the message across! This is by no means having a dig or an argument, but:

    In my honest opinion, I have to disagree with you. Some of my best mates aren’t Christian and they actually hold up better values than a lot of the Christians I’ve come across.

    I think you should have a balance between Christian and non Christian friends. I’ve seen so many people get established in the Christian ‘bubble’, but they can’t a handle a drink out with friends because it’s not held in a church or in someone’s house. This is the real world and not everyone goes to church.

    If we are to make witnesses to our Lord Jesus Christ – you have to be willing to associate yourselves with non Christians. How else may they see the light? Are they magically going to find it by themselves?

    No hate intended – just an honest opinion.

    Love and blessings, Stevie. x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much for your comment Stevie. I agree we have to have a relationship with unbelievers as we can’t win them over otherwise. I actually mentioned this in my post. Besides Paul went as far as encouraging us not to say no when they invite us for dinners. The point I’m trying to make across is that we shouldn’t get into relationships that will make us compromise our faith. Regarding having unbelievers in our innermost circle, I wouldn’t advice that to anyone as that kind of relationship can be detrimental to our Christian growth. I guess you might agree with me on this. I feel Jesus Christ showed us a perfect example of how we can keep this balance. He hung out with unbelievers but He knew when to draw the line.

      Yes I agree some people do get caught up in the Christian bubble and that isn’t good either.

      God’s blessings to you always🙂

      Like

  8. There is one more thing to consider. Before you make a decision to engage or disengage a relationship with someone, you need to pray. God may lead you to a “Rahab” or a “Nineveh”. Both would seem logically to avoid, but sometimes God does the supernatural. That is why one must pray before any decision. Are we not in the ministry of reconciliation? Great post! Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Man, did this hit home for me. I work in an environment with a lot of non-believers, so it makes it difficult. But I try to allow Christ to shine through me and be an example (although I know I often fall short).

    I’ve been reading a lot about the woman at the well, the Samaritan. We are suppose to be Christ like, right? So had Jesus not approached her, a Samaritan of non-Christian belief, He would not have shown her the truth and she wouldn’t have gone and told others. We are called to minister to others, but like you stated, if we associate with non-believers on a more personal level, how are they to sharpen us! aah, excellent! Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for your comment. Very much appreciated. I am glad you were able to relate to this post. I love how you said you try to allow Christ to shine through you and be an example. That is really good to know and I am sure that the seeds you are sowing into the lives of your colleagues by your lifestyle will germinate someday.

      Of course Jesus did associate with unbelievers e.g the Samaritan woman like you rightly mentioned. However they weren’t in His innermost circle. And I think this shows a perfect example of what our relationships should be like.

      Thanks again for visiting my page. Blessings to you!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Your post is not the kind of post I was searching for so how ironic that it turns out to be the most captivating out of the aprox. 50 I read today. I am not a Christian but I have been born again and received Jesus Christ as my savior. I say this because I have went to many churches trying to find a religion I resonate with the most. Catholic, Jewish, Buddhist, Morman…even Jehovah Witness. All professing that they are the ones who will go to Heaven. All claiming superiority over the other religions. The longest war with the most deaths is still happening in the Holy Land over God. My children are Atheist so boy do my Christian friends have a field day with that and over my Godson who is gay.

    I don’t like the separating of people and pushing away of gays, of other religions. This superiority that only they will go to Heaven. Think about it, who did Jesus keep company with prostitutes, drunks, the destitutes.

    Matthew 9:12-13 Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick…For I have not come to call the righteous..what sparked this conversation was Jesus had attended a dinner thrown by a crook and his unsavory friends and even asked the crook to be one of his disciples. He was getting at the point that theres one thing worse than being sick, being sick and thinking you are well. At least the crook knew he was spiritually terminal. Jesus taught that so-called good people don’t go to heaven because their pride keeps them from admitting their need for a Savior, he didn’t call “the righteous”.
    The longest wars that have killed the most people have been over beliefs in God. Do you believe that is what God believes, kill over your different beliefs. This mentality will continue to divide his children. He tells us not to judge, that is for him to do. That is no different than being told my five year old cannot play with my neighbors 5 year old because she is white and we are African-Mexican…which really happened. There are many things the Bible says and people use it to condemn. We need to focus on the good word, love each other. Leave whatever looks mean in the Bible alone, just use your good senses to focus how to love one another because segregation over peoples righteousness to me, would seem to keep you out of Heaven than two men that love each other and love Jesus Christ…

    Thank you for your blog, you are a beautiful spirit and please use your own heart which God is always in, to make your decisions…. Bless you

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh wow! I would like to start by saying thank you so much for visiting my blog and for your kind words. I thank God you found it the most captivating. I wrote this post due to my observations in the church and from my personal experience. I never knew at the point of writing that it would resonate with as many people as it has; making it my most liked post on this blog. I thank God people are able to relate to this post and I pray it makes us all better people.

      It’s sad to hear about all you are experiencing and it truly breaks my heart. That must be very tough to go through. And I truly appreciate you opening up and for sharing. I know things like these are sometimes hard to share. So thanks again for finding this place a safe haven to be vulnerable in.

      Quite sad to see what is going on in the body of Christ. As a Christian, I agree that in church it’s almost like certain sins are more tolerable than the others. We call out certain sins and give grace to the ones we consider as “minor” ones (even though there is nothing like that). The bible doesn’t support this argument. I feel we try to use human wisdom to go about convincing people to leave their sinful ways. Even though this is good, human wisdom is limited hence we have the Holy Spirit who is the only One able to convict a person.

      I agree with what you said about religious wars. This certainly isn’t God’s desire. However we live in a fallen world and inasmuch as the church is supposed to be a safe place, it’s made up of humans. And as such there are shortcomings sadly in the church. I agree if we do everything we do with love, we won’t be having most of the challenges we have today.

      I will certainly be praying for you and may God’s peace continuously consume your heart❤️

      Like

    2. Your post is reflective of the way many feel today. To be a “Christian” only means to FOLLOW Jesus… which if you were born again, is exactly what you are. There is no shame in that title, you are now adopted into the royal family of the All-Mighty God!

      You are correct there are millions of religions past and present that all claim to be true. They have to claim to be true, or who would follow them? But think of this…. do you know how many counterfeit $100 dollar bills have ever been manufactured? Too many to count, would you agree? YET, the existence of all of the countless counterfeits doesn’t prove that the TRUE $100 bill was fake or non-existent… actually the opposite, counterfeits point to the reality of the original.

      It is irrelevant how many false religions come and go… that wouldn’t discount the truth of the one TRUE God. The same God who saved you, Jesus Christ.

      The last thing I would tell you is this, if you truly love someone, and they are doing something harmful to themselves, do you stand by and support their behavior or intervene to save their life? Most would say intervene.

      The Word of God, clearly explains what we have to do to enter eternity in the presence of God. The Bible also tells us that narrow is the path and few will find it, but wide is the path of destruction. If you have family, friends or even enemies on that path of destruction and stand by as they continue towards eternal punishment… ask yourself, how much do you love them?

      What is more important.. to offend someone here on earth and save them from Hell….
      Or never offend anyone… and whatever happens happens. You see God gave us his word so we could know the truth. The Bible is not just a book written by illiterate sheepherders thousands of years ago, as most would tell you. It is the most amazing collection of books ever recorded.

      Written by over 40 authors in three languages over three continents spanning 1500 years. The message of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation is tied together perfectly with one common strand… Jesus Christ. In the Bible it teaches us TWO primary commands… Love God and Love others as you love yourself. Can we love others and let them continue in self destructive behavior? I don’t think so, many times love hurts… in the short term.

      Imagine a parent slapping the hand of a child reaching for a stove. Is this Love or Hate and Violence? This is how we respond to the potential of a little burn on a child’s hand. How much more should we respond to the child of God who is about to stumble into hell fire for eternity?

      I know its not popular to speak about hell these days, most people just want to live their lives their way, with no consequences. But Jesus spoke of hell more frequently than heaven and he certainly taught it was a very real physical place. His warnings were stern and frequent.

      I love people enough to tell them the truth as God has revealed it in his word… no matter what people in our society might think.

      I Hope this helps… and did not offend.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Something lacking in the world we live in today is that we want to separate the truth from love. Truth without love is hostility. Love without truth is a lie. Thank you for this well written comment. You have spoken the truth but in love. God bless you!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I think the key words in 2 Corinthians 6:14 are not as clear in the above translation as in some others. In the NASB, it uses “bound together” instead of “team up”. “Bound together” is much stronger language than just “teaming up”. It’s like making marriage vows or signing a contract or taking out a loan together that you cannot get out of easily. The KJV uses the visual of “unequally yoked” which would be when two different kinds of animals were put in a yoke that was meant for two oxen to pull the plow together. Two oxen pull equally, but if you tried to pair up, say, maybe a horse with an ox, they would not be able to pull the plow equally. I’ve never seen that done, but in my imagination, I think maybe the ox would end up dragging the horse along. They are both beautiful and useful animals, but it just would not work for them to be bound together in that yoke together. That’s not to say that they can’t eat at the same manger or graze in the same pasture.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Absolutely. I think that is what the summary of the post is. We can and should have a relationship with unbelievers but just like Jesus did, we should know who we are bringing into our innermost circle and these people have a way of influencing us. Thanks for shedding more light on this. Blessings to you my sis❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I have a friend named Jeremy, since the age of 9… we are now 46. Eleven years ago I came to Christ, he is still agnostic and fairly hostile to the notion of Christianity. Many years ago in my walk with Christ I knew I had to keep him at a distance, and pray consistently for him.

    To keep him within my tight knit circle of friends has the potential to change me… as you noted in your post. But as I grew in Christ I started making all new friends, fellow Christians.
    Now a few times a month I speak with Jeremy over the phone and share how Jesus is working in my life at every opportunity… and I just keep praying for him.

    Soon the Lord will soften his heart. I am faithful.

    Liked by 4 people

  13. I agree! It’s also interesting that even Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, only allowed Peter, James, and John to go past a certain point. The other disciples weren’t allowed any closer to Him. Out of the 12 who He traveled with, stayed with, and shared His 3 year ministry with, those 3 were the closest to Him on multiple occasions.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I am glad you found it helpful. God chastises those He loves. I thank Him for conviction and I thank you for reading and commenting. Blessings to you🙂

      Like

  14. I’ve always wondered this myself. What would happen if, for example, we are talking about social media? For example, is it ok for me to read and like non-Christians blog posts? What about from a business perspective as the writer of a blog, is it ok for me to post with non-Christians reading? In this regard I think yes, it is ok. If we (I hate to use this word) but lure non-Christians in with an almost secular-looking blog, and then slowly put in references to God, it’s actually beneficial to them I would think. But say you’re the owner of a business, is it ok to sell to non-Christians? This I don’t know. Any help would be appreciated 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Larry. Thanks for visiting my blog and for your comment. I will answer your questions individually🙂.

      Is it ok to read and like non Christian blogs? Of course yes. So long they aren’t saying thing contrary to the word of God. I read certain blogs for general knowledge. But I don’t read blogs that talk about my faith in a way that won’t glorify God.

      Is it ok to post with non-Christians? Again it depends. If i’m to post about mental health for example, and I know a good blogger who is very knowledgeable and vast in this area, I would collaborate with yhy person. So long that person doesn’t introduce ‘junk’ to my blog. With regards to using secular looking blog to bring people in, it totally depends on why you blog and the message you are trying to pass with your blog. I understand “Jesus saves” isn’t a click bait because many people don’t want to read about Jesus. However if you know what God has called to into and the message He has given you, then present the message the way He leads you.

      Lastly, is ok to sell your products to non Christians as that doesn’t impact your faith in a negative way.

      What is important is for you to monitor your circle. You will always know when you start straying away.

      I hope you find this answer helpful🙂. God bless you real good!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I really liked your post and I do agree with a lot with what you said. I do agree that it is impossible to isolate ourselves from non-Christians, then again, we are called to share the good news, Jesus, with these people. However, it is very important that we have friends, or those closest to us, should be those who are Christians that can help strengthen us and encourage us in our walk with God.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. BreadOfLife

    Great read
    I had a best friend for 7 years and after i got born again i still had her in my life but i realized that every time i was with her i either fell into sin or would feel completely empty of the presence of God. I then realized that i had to let her go because we were so close but she wasn’t born again and most times it was easier for her to pull me back to darkness than it was for me to pull her to Christ. I understood that we should not be closely attached to nonbelievers. As you have said we can be friends but they shouldn’t be in our most inner circle.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Good stuff! Thanks so much for sharing – very helpful! Would love to hear more of your personal story! My blog is designed to encourage women, and I would love to feature your testimony on my blog if you’d like to share! Give me a reach out via the contact page at https://softcoverheart.blog/ if you are interested.

    Thanks so much and blessings
    Leah

    Like

  18. Pingback: Christianity and Homosexuality – Grace Over Pain

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s