I was in primary one and i remember being ecstatic as i looked forward to making my clay pot for a school project when i got home. We had no play-dohs. Actually i didn’t even know then there was a thing called play-doh. In my state in Nigeria, clay was easily accessible. I remember seeing kids a few times playing with clay. My parents never allowed us to do this and in my mind, i just couldn’t understand why they were preventing us from what i saw as having fun (lol).
My parents loved academics so anything that was approved by school they would certainly allow us do.
I told my dad about the good news as he came to pick me up from school. I told him i was going to make a clay pot.
On getting home, my mum and dad went to get some clay for me for my project. I insisted on going with them on what i saw as an adventurous trip. Funny enough, this trip was just to the back of my house haha! I wanted to witness the process of digging out the clay. Despite seeing holes being dug several times, there was a different feeling to this – the clay was going to be used by me. The thought of me making something out of that clay made me very excited.
I put the clay in a nylon bag and rushed inside the house to show my siblings as my mum was screaming “don’t pour that clay inside the house.”
To make a clay pot, i had to do a lot of crushing and moulding. I destroyed the first one i made because it didn’t have my desired shape and i started again until i achieved my desired result with the supervisor of my parents as they cheered me on. After making it, i just couldn’t wait for it to get dried so i could put the lid on top on my pot. My mum insisted that i left it to air dry till the next day before making an attempt to lift the lid. Otherwise it will scatter she said.
Later that evening, i couldn’t resist the urge to see my project the way i envisaged it to be – a pot with a lid on top. So i went to grab the lid and in an attempt to cover the pot with the lid, the lid handle broke. This made me sad. I knew i could have waited and i knew how it would have turned out to be because i had the perfect picture in my head. But i wasn’t sad for long. I took it down and did it again. This was possible because i was the porter. I had and i knew the image i wanted.
When God created you and i, He had a perfect image in mind. He knew what He wanted. He knows what He wants us to be. The situations and circumstances of life are moulding us everyday into that shape that God wants. Yes! Every scar, pain, tear, joy, gain, and loss will be used for something good. He never planned for you to be molested or abandoned. However because He is the porter, He is able to fix things when they don’t go according to His plan. In order to do this, we do have a part to play.
You see if the broken lid had refused to allow me fix it, it would have remained broken. For it to regain its beauty, the clay had to surrender and give in to my leading. The clay layed helpless, trusting me to mend it. That is exactly what God wants us to do.
He is a perfect gentle man. He said that His spirit will never strive with man again. If you decide to hop away with a broken feet, He will have to leave you. So despite that horrible incidence happened to you, He hasn’t given up on you. He is waiting for you to surrender to Him so He can use that broken piece to make a beautiful piece.
A porter doesn’t see a broken vessel as useless. Him alone is able to see the beauty that mere eyes can’t see. Stop disqualifying yourself as a result of your brokenness. Remember this bible verse that says; “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
And we know! You just have to know my friend. You have to believe what you know. And if you say you know, i would like to ask exactly what you know? What are you holding on to? You know about your pain and brokenness. It’s good to know about that because acknowledging the problem is the first step in solving it. However don’t let it end there. Seek to know about the Porter. Seek to know about the healer. Open your heart to know about the One who alone can mend the brokenhearted.
I thank God for those years i felt broken because they birthed the girl you know about today.
A broken vessel isn’t rejected by the porter. The porter always knows what to do to bring the beauty out again. Don’t write yourself off. Don’t give up. Your beauty although hidden now will shine again. You will be made whole again. Just allow God fix you. When He’s done, the scars will no longer remind you of pain. They will remind you of how far He has brought you.