I was faced with a lot of bullying growing up. We had a family who were very close to us and their children always told me that i wasn’t pretty and that my voice sounded like that of a man and also they mocked me saying i had a hunchback (which i didn’t have by the way) and that i will look awful when i grow up.

I was bullied a lot by my mates in primary school for being intelligent and because i was loved by my school teachers. In secondary school i was bullied shockingly for being the little intelligent girl with dimples (strange i know). Despite i had a lovely family, the impact of the bullying led to me questioning my identity a lot.

I remember crying to my school principal in secondary school as 3 boys in my class mocked me because of my dimples. And my principal said something that stuck to me for life. He said people will often bully you because you have something they wished they had. He also said what others say to you is not what matters but what you accept.

I understand that we have to raise an awareness of these issues especially as they have a long term negative impact on everyone who experiences it. However, we sadly live in a world which i don’t think will ever be bully free. Raising an awareness is one thing and teaching our kids to know who they are is another thing. I can link my principal’s word to the bible scripture which says “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:……” (Proverbs 23:7a).

What others call us isn’t really what affects us. What affects us either positively or negatively is what we accept. I wrote a blog post a while ago about lessons learnt from a school boy. The mindset and perspective of this little lad who was being bullied really shocked me. He refused to be a victim of this. Actually in my eyes, he was the victor. His resilience struck me. This doesn’t just apply to bullying alone but it relates to other areas of our lives.

I applaud the current wave of awareness that is being raised regarding this issue and i think more should and can be done by us all. The same time, resources and energy spent in trying to correct this epidemic in our society should also be spent in teaching our kids who they really are. Sadly there are very bad and wicked people out there. The world is becoming darker by the day. With this mind, i have decided to make it a point of duty to teach my kids about who they are and who God says they are. I also make verbal declarations to myself. It doesn’t matter what anyone says or thinks of me. What matters is what my Maker says. He says i am wonderfully and fearfully made. He says i am beautiful and good. If my Maker says it, then that is final. I can’t control what others think about me but i can control what i choose to accept.

Words are seeds. When we hear them, they stay in our minds and later come back for us to ponder on. The way to conquer this is in 2 Corinthians 10:5

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

I just love the bible because everything we need to conquer life challenges is right there.

I pray my kids never experience bullying. However i will arm them with what they need to conquer it should they ever experience it.

I will continue to speak out against bullying. I am by no means trying to belittle the effects it has on individuals. It had a negative effect on me growing up. However i feel one of the ways to conquer its effect is when we know and teach our kids who they are. This isn’t just for kids. Someone has tried to bully me in my place of work. People experience bullying because of their health challenges, race, accent, gender etc. So the principle of identity is also applicable in these cases. When we understand that God affirms us then we will be able to shake off words contrary to what God says concerning us. I always tell my kids that no human being on earth knows them enough to define and label them.

With all these said, i so look forward to heaven where no one will call me names because of my accent, skin colour, look, gender, etc. I look forward to a place where people will not be labelled as something else other than what God has called them. I look forward to a place where we all can truly celebrate our differences and appreciate one another for who we are. We all are children of God and that is what will be celebrated in heaven.

33 thoughts on “Bullying

  1. jesusandgreentea

    Amen!!! This was so good and I’m going to read this to my son after school today because, we often talk about bullying and other school challenges.
    Blessed Friday sis

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Melina

    The same time, resources and energy spent in trying to correct this epidemic in our society should also be spent in teaching our kids who they really are. THAT’S THE ANSWER.Thanks Efua 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ogo

    Great piece. One thing I encourage people about is, having a beautiful self-image about oneself. This is because with such, one is soo confident of oneself regardless of the bullies. People might want to conclude that you are too proud just because you don’t succumb to their bullies and at the same time, you can walk soo tall with your head up high. If that is the case, don’t get yourself worked up cos that is the best response to all there bullies. Bearing in mind that, you don’t need any human to validate you before you can live life. What is important is what God thinks about you; which is you are beautiful, intelligent, great etc. Let us continue to build our self images and that of our children. Do not feel less of who you and also, let us not speak derogatory words to/about our children. Charity begins at home.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree 💯 Sis! It’s very important that we understand that self esteem isn’t pride. And it is the best response to the bullies. Thanks for your comment. Really appreciated

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Patrizia Akotia

    Wow , this is amazing!!! Well said!!
    Definitely agree with the statement that people will often bully you because they wish they had something that you have. In my opinion bullying steams from jealousy.When an individual is in that state of mind, their actions are uncontrollable. Bullies, can be said to be predators, therefore they will not rest until they’ve found their prey. In front stage, their ego it is manifested, by the bullying of the vulnerables . However, back stage , they r just “soft” ordinary individuals . Such actions are also due to ones own insecurities. In today, society , there’s always that tendency to “fit in ” and not be the outsider.
    Acceptance and approval from members of society it’s at the heart of every individual; for that’s where our identities come from . Therefore , fear of rejection might lead certain individuals , to deviate from the norms.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well said! The tendency to be liked and validated by everyone empowers the bullies sometimes. It’s very important for us to understand that our validation comes from God. I love how you compared the bullies to predators. When we don’t know who we are, we become vulnerable. Thanks so much for reading and commenting😊

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Ehi

    Brilliant of you to address this issue. This is one of many reasons why we must build trusting relationship with our kids so they feel safe enough to talk to us if they are faced with such harrowing experience.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Titi Samuel

    Bullying is causing serious problems in our society this days.It’s could come as a result of jealousy at times. The only way out of bullying for our children,we should build confidence in them by using Psalm139:14. Wonderfully means to be distinct or unique. As a parent we should not be too busy to listen to them very important. God will help us in Jesus name.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I totally agree. It has always been there. I think we are hearing more about it because we are living in a society where issues like these are being addressed….. the scripture you gave sums it all up. “I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.”
      ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:14‬ ‭AMPC‬‬
      It says my inner self knows right well that I am wonderfully made. We have to start teaching our kids to know their true identity. If they know who they really are, they won’t believe anything otherwise.
      Thanks as always for your contribution. Highly appreciated😊

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Jemima

    We shouldn’t join hands with the society to make us inferior… Just like it is said in d scriptures ‘as a man thinketh in his heart so he is’ d things been said to us are not wot affects Us rather d things we accept into our lives do. If God has said we are good after creation then that settles d whole thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ugo

    I look forward to a place where we all can truly celebrate our differences and appreciate one another for who we are. We all are children of God and that is what will be celebrated in heaven.

    Great piece of writing. Thanks Efua.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Busola

    Efua, great write up, Bullying is such a major issue in this day and age, whether it be at school or in the workplace. I agree that knowing God and understanding who we are in Christ helps in overcoming the emotional, social and psychological effects of bullying. Thank you for this, we definitely need to teach our children from a very early age about who they are and how they can block out negative comments from people.

    I also look forward to the great experience in heaven.

    Well done sis!

    Liked by 2 people

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