Grace Over Pain

My 5 years old daughter isn’t so much into jeans and trainers. She is a proper girly girl. She loves to wear dresses and ballerina shoes. However she has a particular pair of trainers she loved. I guess because it is pink and very sparkly lol.. She wore that pair of trainers till life vanished out of it haha!

The other day she was getting dressed for an outing and she insisted on wearing that particular pair. I knew there was no way her legs could fit into them anymore because she has outgrown them. But it was very interesting to see how she kept forcing her feet into it. It was very clear from the get go that her legs won’t fit. She even acknowledged it but maybe there was something in her that made her think a magic could happen so her big feet could shrink and fit into the small pair of shoe. Well of course, this doesn’t happen in real life and she had to relunctantly with tears in her eyes take her feet off those shoes. And then it hit her that the pair she loved so much was now going out of her wardrobe. This broke her heart.

As i was watching this interesting scene, it dawned on me that we are like that sometimes. We have people in our lives who we have known for years maybe since we were kids. We grew up together with these people. It’s almost like we’ve been glued to them. However as we begin to grow in our faith walk, we realise that these folks are now behind us. We try to win them over but we can tell they just aren’t ready. Instead of us to leave them and allow God work in them, we try to do the work of the Holy Spirit. We force them until the relationship becomes toxic to our faith and our life in general. We decide not to let go even when the pain it is causing us is preventing us from being able to function. We sometimes loose ourselves, self esteem, families, faith, health etc in an attempt to stay glued and connected to these people.

Most of the time, others can see us in pain. We even acknowledge the pain. But we love these people too much to move a little bit away from them. Please don’t get me wrong. I understand that sometimes we have to stick with people until they change. However when the relationship becomes toxic and parasitic, the term ‘love them from a distance’ becomes applicable. Don’t loose yourself in an attempt to stay with someone. If you are of no good to yourself, you are of no good to someone else. Know where your strength ends. No one can change anyone. The Holy Spirit does the changing. Give them a distance and pray for them like never before. God can bring you both together after He has done the work in them.

I find this very common in relationships. It is safer to give certain people a distance if the danger signs are clear. Wisdom the bible says is profitable to direct. Know when to give people space.