Three years ago, the Holy Spirit told me to create a platform where i can share stories about life that will inspire young girls to leave the cave of shame and embrace the grace that has been offered to them through Jesus Christ. Prior to Him putting this in my heart, i have always had a passion to reach out to young adults who feel ashamed because of bad choices they made in life. I feel there is a gap in the church and certain issues young adults are facing sometimes isn’t properly addressed. This makes some of them run from the church instead of running into the church.
When i received this message, i was very excited about it because it is my passion. And being the youth leader in my church, i felt the message tallied with what i was doing already and i could use the platform God has already placed me in for the assignment.
Despite the excitement, i was petrified. I was scared of people not wanting to hear me. I was scared of not knowing what to say. I was scared no one will view my blog because they will think it is rubbish and not well written. I was scared people will feel my blog isn’t different in any way from other christian blogs and they will be put off for this reason.
I told my husband about what God has told me to do. I also rang a friend of mine and told her about it but i didn’t tell her about my fears. They were both excited and encouraged me to go ahead with it. While on the call, i felt pumped up about the idea but immediate i dropped my phone, those fears came in again. I allowed the fear to cripple me and as a result, i swept the assignment under the carpet. I justified the delay with excuses. Being a wife, mum to two kids (as at then), having a full time job seemed to be justifiable reasons for delaying this assignment.
Mid last year, during one of our youth bible studies, i did a teaching on purpose. I used Moses as a case study. Whilst doing the teaching, i was feeling convictions about the delay in carrying out the assignment God has given me. In the book of Exodus, from chapter 3:11 to chapter 4:13, Moses was presenting reasons why he can’t fulfil the assignment God gave Him.
I saw myself in Moses because we both gave similar excuses. I would like to group the reasons for our excuses into two.
- Fear of yourself
- Fear of people
Fear of yourself is you seeing yourself as inadequate for several reasons best known to you.
Fear of people is you trying to think of what people will say and the reaction you will get from others.
Moses was in this boat. Despite his excuses, God didn’t back off. He still wasn’t satisfied with the excuses. God didn’t say ‘i understand why you are scared so don’t worry about what i just told you. I don’t think you can do it’. No He didn’t. Likewise God does not accept excuses. When we get to heaven, fear isn’t going to be an acceptable excuse for failing to do what He told you to do.
The period i did the bible study, i was pregnant with my third child, i was going to be made redundant from work because our office was being closed down. I remember the Holy Spirit saying to me, “you won’t have an excuse when you will be at home”. And really He was right. At the end of september, i was made redundant. I couldn’t get another job because i was pregnant. I am also anaemic and this gets a little bit worse in pregnancy. Trying to present another case why i can’t start the blog, i realised that all my excuses were actually linked to fear.
When God gives you an assignment, He qualifies you for it. He told Moses He will be with Him. God stays with you when He gives you something to do. When i got this revelation, i repented of my sin (for delaying to do what God told me to do), i got up and started writing despite the tiredness associated with pregnancy. I made a commitment to God to launch my blog in March. I told myself it didn’t matter how many people viewed my post, but so long it blesses one person, that’s enough. I knew i had to play my part. I just had to do it and quit making excuses.
I don’t know what God has told you to do. There will never be a “perfect” time to do the task. Moses’ timing wasn’t perfect. He was flawed like all of us. He didn’t have the required skills for the job. However, God qualified him.
If God has called you to do it. He has graced you to do it. It is He that qualifies. So just do it!